We are just back from our first family holiday to Milan, Florence and Venice. It was amazing! And such a lovely opportunity for Matt and Dylan to spend more time together because usually, work takes up such a big proportion of Matt’s week.
We don’t want it suddenly throwing its weight around.
If ever I needed a reminder of how chaotic things are since having a baby, it’s heading to the airport and realising (too late) I left my phone at home. And, on returning, finding the fridge door wide open. Just when I dared think things were slowly getting under control – ha!
As well as the very past-it’s-best selection of cheese lurking about, (see above) I was greeted by a stack of NHS appointment letters (I can now spot an NHS letter a mile off) on the mat including, the date of my next MRI scan, which as it turns out, is only a week away.
MRIs and motherhood
It’s hard to put into words how differently I feel about MRI scans now that Dylan is here.
Maybe it’s fear. There’s always an element of fear on the day, but it’s worse now. Things can go either way, and my worries are about the impact bad news – tumour growth, or change would have on our lives. I know that it would mean Chemotherapy (again), and fatigue, and maybe sickness, and definitely more appointments, etc. etc.
Maternity leave would no longer be one long lunch.
I wouldn’t be able to do everything myself. I might have to miss stuff, and get help from family and friends.
Perhaps most importantly though, maternity leave would no longer be one long lunch (haha).
Treatment gobbles up time, energy and chips away at head space.
And anyway, so far, we’ve been doing fine. Me, Dylan, and the brain tumour. We know it’s there, but aside from some seizures, it’s mostly kept itself to itself.
We don’t want it suddenly throwing it’s weight around!!
Dylan’s already visited most of central Manchester’s hospitals, sleeping (or crying) through clinics whilst being cooed over by nurses. I think for now, he’s seasoned enough.
I wanted to keep this short… so I guess what I’m really trying to say – in too many words – is it’s the same old scanxiety, but beefed up.
Wish me luck for next Wednesday guys.